• London Zoo by The Bug

• Yes Maybe No by Laura

• Natural Composite by Locust

• Batcat by Mogwai

• The Hawk Is Howling by Mogwai

• A Peripheral Blur by James Plotkin / Mark Spybey

• Awakes by Syntaks

• Ylajali by Syntaks

• Alex Patterson’s ‘Voyage Into Paradise’ by Various Artists

• The Art of Breaking Apart by Velvet Acid Christ

• The American Dollar by The American Dollar

• The Technicolour Sleep by The American Dollar

• Another Bedroom EP by Atlas Sound

• Make You Mine by Best Coast

• Pale Sketches by Jesu

• Duende – The Spanish Sessions by Killing Joke

• Fantasies by Metric

• Industrial Complex (Tour Edition) by Nitzer Ebb

• No Sleep Demon V2.0 by Seabound

My grandmother died this morning.

This is a photo of her, taken February 25, 2009 – when I went to India. I wish you could have seen her when she was in the prime of her health. I wish I had more photos of her. I wish I’d seen her more often, spoken with her on the phone more. I wish … so many things.

The last time I saw her she was so frail. She could barely speak. The effort of speaking left her tired. She was wheelchair bound, and needed help eating. The cocktail of drugs she was on drove her body temperature sky high, so she was always complaining of feeling hot. And worse, the drugs made it hard for her to distinguish things she’d dreamt from reality. Still, when she was on she was on. Her mind was still razor sharp, and I could see how frustrated she was to be trapped in a body that refused to obey her.

At times I thought she was hanging on so she could see her grandkids married. Of severn grandchildren, only one is married. My sister got engaged on New Year’s. We thought she should wait to tell my grandmother in person, but she wisely overruled us and told her on the phone, so at least she knew that one more of her kids had her feet on the path she’d have loved for us all to have been on. She’ll never see my sister’s wedding now. She never met her great-grandson. EDIT: My cousin and his wife took their infant son to India, last year, so my grandmother did see him. I’m so glad of that.

I’m sad for us – the ones she’s left behind. The ones who’ll never again feel the joy of her company. A small part of my is happy that she’s free of the body that betrayed her, and became a cage. I want that small part of me to be right.

But I can’t help but cry.

• Aerial by 2562

• Pop Tatari by Boredoms

• Enjoy the Fall by Edge of Dawn

• Tarot Sport by Fuck Buttons

• 1% of Monster by Mogwai

• Gold and Green by OOIOO

• Welcome to Goodbye by Rotersand

• When Black Beats Blue [Rarities] by Seabound

• Deep Space by Jah Wobble

• Invisible Republic by Young Galaxy

Time’s been short, so this is just a list of what I’ve grabbed – I haven’t given any of them a proper listen yet.

• Lilies by Arovane

• Tides by Arovane

• The Last Dubber by Ministry

• What We All Come To Need by Pelican

• Geneva by Russian Circles

• Do You Trust Your Friends? by Stars

• Beacons of Ancestorship by Tortoise

• Object 47 by Wire

• Send by Wire

• Young Fight by Amusement Parks on Fire
  Amusement Parks on Fire’s first album was influenced by the shoegazer sound that I love so well. This album is still shoegazery, but less obviously so. A good listen though – seems like they’re trying to find their own sound.

• Harmonizer by Apoptygma Berzerk
  I don’t know why it took so long for me to grab this. Harmonizer is the last real EBM sounding album from Apoptygma Berzerk – all the subsequent stuff has sounded like electronic emo-pop, which isn’t my thing at all. Even Harmonizer flirts with a warmer sound than the earlier stuff, but it’s the last great Apop album.

• Eulogy For The Sick Child by Imperative Reaction
  I saw Imperative Reaction open for VNV Nation when VNV toured for Matter + Form and was quite impressed, but I’d arrived to the show a bit late and didn’t know who they were. They remind me a lot of mid-period Frontline Assembly, and there’s nothing wrong about that.

• Jagged by Gary Numan
  It’s Gary Numan. I shouldn’t have to say anything more.

• In And Out Of Control by The Raveonettes
  With In And Out Of Control it seems like The Raveonettes have finally found the it in their sound. Previous albums have been teetering on the edge of greatness, but this one jumps in with both feet.

• Smile And The World Smiles With You by Sonna
  Shimmering guitars, jangling melodies, and gentle swells that build to crescendoes. Fans of Mogwai, Low, and Múm will find much to like here.

• Altar by Sunn O))) & Boris
  Masters of drone Sunn O))) collaborate with the ultra-amazing Boris. This isn’t two bands writing half an album each and playing together, nor is it a split single, it’s two very different bands collaborating right from the songwriting, and it’s fascinating to see how the result isn’t much like either bands’ material. This one’s worth owning just for “The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep). The fact that the rest of it is damned good is just icing.

• I Cry by Rotersand

• War On Error by Rotersand
  Germany’s Rotersand is a new discovery for me. They make EBM, but it’s strongly influenced by rock as well as other electronica and techno.

• Of Faith, Power and Glory by VNV Nation
  VNV Nation doesn’t seem to change much from album to album, but this is a case of not messing with a formula that works. One thing that sets VNV apart from so many similar acts that stands out more and more with each album – the idea that we should face each day with hope. That message has never been so strong. Strong beats with pretty melodies and Ronan Harris’ almost-romantic vocals, it’s really good listening.

• AmericanPornSongs by 16Volt
  I used to hate 16Volt, but somewhere along their career they got good. This album might well be their best yet. Aggressive, danceable industrial is always welcome to these ears.

• A Story in White by Aerogramme
  I noticed Aerogramme because they’d done an “In the Fishtank” collaboration with Isis. Not that they’re anything like Isis, except insofar as they can achieve similar levels of intensity. The album wanders from crushingly heavy to mellow acoustic right down to almost ambient, but it never sounds inconsistent. Definitely worth the download.

• Reading All The Right Signals Wrong by Final
  I don’t even preview anything done by Justin Broadrick any more. Since I discovered Godflesh some 15 years ago I’ve devoured everything he’s done that I could find from the ultra minimal Final albums through slow grinding nightmare Godflesh, through the ambient on one album, screamingly aggressive on the next Techno Animal, and now the beautiful and haunting Jesu. I’ve never been disappointed.

• Flesh is the Law by Genitorturers
  Sleazy, snarly, and unapologetically trashy, the Genitorturers are awesome. Gen kicks ass – she can sound evil and snarly one moment and sexy as hell the next, and she uses that skill to amazing effect. They’re also an amazing live act, which is a good thing as this album is half studio, half live.

• Burner by Jane Jensen
  I downloaded this one on a whim – eMusic recommended it as similar to Genitortures, and AllMusic called it “electric girl-pop grunge with a twist of hip-hop blues” and I couldn’t say no. Regrets? I’ve had a few, but grabbing this album isn’t one of them.

• Aphorisms by Red Sparowes
  Instrumental rock, similar is style to Explosions in the Sky. Amazingly good. I’d have been tempted to download it just on the strength of the song titles – how can you not want to own songs with names like “We Left the Apes to Rot, But Find the Fang Grows Within”, “Error Has Turned Animals Into Men, and to Each the Fold Repeats”, and “The Fear Is Excruciating, But Therein Lies the Answer”? Non sequiturs for the win! Genius!

• Station by Russian Circles
  Russian Circles were recommended by Twitter friend Nightwyrm for fans of the “darker” stuff from Mogwai. So far so good.

• We Sing Loud Sing Soft Tonight by Sonna
  Sweet indie rock in the same vein as Múm and Mogwai.

• The Lo Fibre Companion by Various Artists
  This is a compilation of material from Justin Broadrick’s Lo Fibre label, most of which is a Broadrick side project of some sort. Particularly amazing are the tracks by The Sidewinder, a collaboration between Broadrick and Scorn’s Mick Harris.

• How He Loved The Moon (Moonsongs for Johnn Balance) by Current 93
  A tribute to Johnn Balance of Coil who died in 2004. This album is tribute to his genius. I really loved Coil, so this album makes me a bit sad. Mostly darkly ambient.

• Hpynagogue / Hypnagogue II by Current 93
  Another darkly ambient bit of mood music.

• All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone – Remixes by Explosions in the Sky
  Explosions in the Sky remixed by the likes of Jesu, Eluvium, and Four Tet? How can you go wrong? Fantastic.

• This Is What You Get by Flunk
  I’ve loved Flunk since I first heard their cover of Blue Monday (on For Sleepyheads Only). Every release has been consistently great, and this one continues the trend. While I don’t think they’ll ever manage to top the genius that is “Play”, it’s unfair to expect them to do so.

• Holy Fuck by Holy Fuck

• LP by Holy Fuck
  Two albums of electronic noise rock by Toronto’s Holy Fuck. The albums sound surprisingly raw – like live recordings. Good fun.

• Gone by Mono

• Hymn to the Immortal Wind by Mono

• Walking Cloud, Deep Red Sky, Flag Fluttered and the Sun Shined by Mono
  I can’t get enough of Mono – if you like Explosions in the Sky, Godspeed! You Black Emperor, or Yume Bitsu you’ll love this band.

• Salt Marie Celeste by Nurse With Wound
  This is a very strange album. One track, just over an hour long. If you’re not paying close attention, it sounds like a 2 minute ambient loop repeated 30 times. It’s super minimalist and creepy as Hell. Play it loud on Halloween to scare the bejesus out of the local kids.

• Dream, Tiresias! by Project Pitchfork
  Yet more industrial goodness from Project Pitchfork.

• Love and Distortion by The Stratford 4
  Fuzzy shoegazery stuff. Not exactly original sounding, but that’s not a bad thing. They clearly wear their influences (Spacemen 3, My Bloody Valentine) on their sleeve.