Sorrow
Posted by raj | Filed under General
For the past several years my mother’s been making a trip to India at the start of the year to visit my grandmother. My grandmother’s health has been failing – diabetes, a hyperactive thyroid, Parkinson’s and even cancer. She’d had several close calls, but pulled through every time. Knowing her health was poor, my sister and I had been making trips to India as well – my sister went two years ago, I went last year, and my sister and mum were en route to India last night.
My grandmother died this morning.
This is a photo of her, taken February 25, 2009 – when I went to India. I wish you could have seen her when she was in the prime of her health. I wish I had more photos of her. I wish I’d seen her more often, spoken with her on the phone more. I wish … so many things.
The last time I saw her she was so frail. She could barely speak. The effort of speaking left her tired. She was wheelchair bound, and needed help eating. The cocktail of drugs she was on drove her body temperature sky high, so she was always complaining of feeling hot. And worse, the drugs made it hard for her to distinguish things she’d dreamt from reality. Still, when she was on she was on. Her mind was still razor sharp, and I could see how frustrated she was to be trapped in a body that refused to obey her.
At times I thought she was hanging on so she could see her grandkids married. Of severn grandchildren, only one is married. My sister got engaged on New Year’s. We thought she should wait to tell my grandmother in person, but she wisely overruled us and told her on the phone, so at least she knew that one more of her kids had her feet on the path she’d have loved for us all to have been on. She’ll never see my sister’s wedding now. She never met her great-grandson. EDIT: My cousin and his wife took their infant son to India, last year, so my grandmother did see him. I’m so glad of that.
I’m sad for us – the ones she’s left behind. The ones who’ll never again feel the joy of her company. A small part of my is happy that she’s free of the body that betrayed her, and became a cage. I want that small part of me to be right.
But I can’t help but cry.
2009’s last 90.
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
The last 90 eMusic downloads for 2009:
November’s eMusic
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
November’s 90:
Time’s been short, so this is just a list of what I’ve grabbed – I haven’t given any of them a proper listen yet.
Idiocy
Posted by raj | Filed under General
This past weekend saw the death of one of the drives in my Linux media server. Sadly, it was the drive with all my media. This means I’ve lost my entire music library. All my ripped albums and seven years of emusic downloads all gone in the blink of an eye. And, like an idiot, I hadn’t backed up any of it. I back up everything else. I have two complete backups of my main computer, and my photographs are backed up in three places, but my music was left entirely sans backup. I can recover from this – I can re-download the stuff that’s still available on emusic, and I can re-rip my CDs but it will take time and bandwidth. I’m more annoyed at myself than anything – I know better but I still got caught flat-footed. Stupid.
October’s eMusic Downloads
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
Mostly electronica / EBM this month, with a couple of exceptions.
- Young Fight by Amusement Parks on Fire
Amusement Parks on Fire’s first album was influenced by the shoegazer sound that I love so well. This album is still shoegazery, but less obviously so. A good listen though – seems like they’re trying to find their own sound.
- Harmonizer by Apoptygma Berzerk
I don’t know why it took so long for me to grab this. Harmonizer is the last real EBM sounding album from Apoptygma Berzerk – all the subsequent stuff has sounded like electronic emo-pop, which isn’t my thing at all. Even Harmonizer flirts with a warmer sound than the earlier stuff, but it’s the last great Apop album.
- Eulogy For The Sick Child by Imperative Reaction
I saw Imperative Reaction open for VNV Nation when VNV toured for Matter + Form and was quite impressed, but I’d arrived to the show a bit late and didn’t know who they were. They remind me a lot of mid-period Frontline Assembly, and there’s nothing wrong about that.
- Jagged by Gary Numan
It’s Gary Numan. I shouldn’t have to say anything more.
- In And Out Of Control by The Raveonettes
With In And Out Of Control it seems like The Raveonettes have finally found the it in their sound. Previous albums have been teetering on the edge of greatness, but this one jumps in with both feet.
- Smile And The World Smiles With You by Sonna
Shimmering guitars, jangling melodies, and gentle swells that build to crescendoes. Fans of Mogwai, Low, and Múm will find much to like here.
- Altar by Sunn O))) & Boris
Masters of drone Sunn O))) collaborate with the ultra-amazing Boris. This isn’t two bands writing half an album each and playing together, nor is it a split single, it’s two very different bands collaborating right from the songwriting, and it’s fascinating to see how the result isn’t much like either bands’ material. This one’s worth owning just for “The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep). The fact that the rest of it is damned good is just icing.
- War On Error by Rotersand
Germany’s Rotersand is a new discovery for me. They make EBM, but it’s strongly influenced by rock as well as other electronica and techno.
- Of Faith, Power and Glory by VNV Nation
VNV Nation doesn’t seem to change much from album to album, but this is a case of not messing with a formula that works. One thing that sets VNV apart from so many similar acts that stands out more and more with each album – the idea that we should face each day with hope. That message has never been so strong. Strong beats with pretty melodies and Ronan Harris’ almost-romantic vocals, it’s really good listening.
September’s eMusic Downloads
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
Some great stuff this month!
- AmericanPornSongs by 16Volt
I used to hate 16Volt, but somewhere along their career they got good. This album might well be their best yet. Aggressive, danceable industrial is always welcome to these ears.
- A Story in White by Aerogramme
I noticed Aerogramme because they’d done an “In the Fishtank” collaboration with Isis. Not that they’re anything like Isis, except insofar as they can achieve similar levels of intensity. The album wanders from crushingly heavy to mellow acoustic right down to almost ambient, but it never sounds inconsistent. Definitely worth the download.
- Reading All The Right Signals Wrong by Final
I don’t even preview anything done by Justin Broadrick any more. Since I discovered Godflesh some 15 years ago I’ve devoured everything he’s done that I could find from the ultra minimal Final albums through slow grinding nightmare Godflesh, through the ambient on one album, screamingly aggressive on the next Techno Animal, and now the beautiful and haunting Jesu. I’ve never been disappointed.
- Flesh is the Law by Genitorturers
Sleazy, snarly, and unapologetically trashy, the Genitorturers are awesome. Gen kicks ass – she can sound evil and snarly one moment and sexy as hell the next, and she uses that skill to amazing effect. They’re also an amazing live act, which is a good thing as this album is half studio, half live.
- Burner by Jane Jensen
I downloaded this one on a whim – eMusic recommended it as similar to Genitortures, and AllMusic called it “electric girl-pop grunge with a twist of hip-hop blues” and I couldn’t say no. Regrets? I’ve had a few, but grabbing this album isn’t one of them.
- Aphorisms by Red Sparowes
Instrumental rock, similar is style to Explosions in the Sky. Amazingly good. I’d have been tempted to download it just on the strength of the song titles – how can you not want to own songs with names like “We Left the Apes to Rot, But Find the Fang Grows Within”, “Error Has Turned Animals Into Men, and to Each the Fold Repeats”, and “The Fear Is Excruciating, But Therein Lies the Answer”? Non sequiturs for the win! Genius!
- Station by Russian Circles
Russian Circles were recommended by Twitter friend Nightwyrm for fans of the “darker” stuff from Mogwai. So far so good.
- We Sing Loud Sing Soft Tonight by Sonna
Sweet indie rock in the same vein as Múm and Mogwai.
- The Lo Fibre Companion by Various Artists
This is a compilation of material from Justin Broadrick’s Lo Fibre label, most of which is a Broadrick side project of some sort. Particularly amazing are the tracks by The Sidewinder, a collaboration between Broadrick and Scorn’s Mick Harris.
August EMusic Downloads, Part II
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
EMusic’s download cycle is 30 days long, and that means the renewal date slowly creeps backwards in the month. I’ve been a member long enough now that my renewal date has crept to the beginning of the month – my next download refresh date is the September 9th, and this is a really busy time at work, so rather than lose a set of downloads, I downloaded what I would normally have called September’s downloads in August.
- How He Loved The Moon (Moonsongs for Johnn Balance) by Current 93
A tribute to Johnn Balance of Coil who died in 2004. This album is tribute to his genius. I really loved Coil, so this album makes me a bit sad. Mostly darkly ambient.
- Hpynagogue / Hypnagogue II by Current 93
Another darkly ambient bit of mood music.
- All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone – Remixes by Explosions in the Sky
Explosions in the Sky remixed by the likes of Jesu, Eluvium, and Four Tet? How can you go wrong? Fantastic.
- This Is What You Get by Flunk
I’ve loved Flunk since I first heard their cover of Blue Monday (on For Sleepyheads Only). Every release has been consistently great, and this one continues the trend. While I don’t think they’ll ever manage to top the genius that is “Play”, it’s unfair to expect them to do so.
- LP by Holy Fuck
Two albums of electronic noise rock by Toronto’s Holy Fuck. The albums sound surprisingly raw – like live recordings. Good fun.
- Walking Cloud, Deep Red Sky, Flag Fluttered and the Sun Shined by Mono
I can’t get enough of Mono – if you like Explosions in the Sky, Godspeed! You Black Emperor, or Yume Bitsu you’ll love this band.
- Salt Marie Celeste by Nurse With Wound
This is a very strange album. One track, just over an hour long. If you’re not paying close attention, it sounds like a 2 minute ambient loop repeated 30 times. It’s super minimalist and creepy as Hell. Play it loud on Halloween to scare the bejesus out of the local kids.
- Dream, Tiresias! by Project Pitchfork
Yet more industrial goodness from Project Pitchfork.
- Love and Distortion by The Stratford 4
Fuzzy shoegazery stuff. Not exactly original sounding, but that’s not a bad thing. They clearly wear their influences (Spacemen 3, My Bloody Valentine) on their sleeve.
August’s eMusic
Posted by raj | Filed under Music
August’s 90 Tracks:
- Complete Recordings by Black Tambourine
Black Tambourine remind me of a rawer (is that a word?) less polished Lush. A bit more wall-of-fuzzy noise, but the same almost ethereal vocals.
- Smile by Boris
Boris rocks. Every album amazes with every listen. Get it all, you won’t regret it.
- Farm by Dinosaur Jr.
Dinosaur Jr. continues to amaze – their second album since their reformation is every bit as fresh and vital as Beyond, if not quite reaching the admittedly high watermark set by You’re Living All Over Me.
- Palmless Prayer: Mass Murder Refrain by Mono & World’s End Girlfriend
From what I gather, Mono are widely considered Japan’s representative in the so-called “post-rock” scene. Contemporaries with Explosions in the Sky, This Will Destroy You, Laura, Godspeed You! Black Emperor and others. Let’s get this out of the way – “post-rock” is as patently stupid a label as I’ve ever heard. EitS hate it – they rightfully claim that what they do is make rock, no “post” about it. That said, humans have this need to label things, classify them, and slot them away and if you really had to do such a thing, there’s be less apt ways of doing it than to seat Mono with EitS. World’s End Girlfriend are similar, but far more experimental – more daring arrangements in less comfortable compositions. Their 2005 album The Lie Lay Land is a mind-boggling tower of unsettling music with titles like “Phatasmagoria Moth Gate” just destined to set your brain on edge. This collaboration is entirely unlike that. A collection of delicate and beautiful and ultimate devastatingly sad acoustic instrumentals.
- SKOLD vs. KMFDM
KMFDM has spent several albums recycling what they’ve been doing since Tim Skold’s tenure with the band. Given that, I was expecting this album to be yet more of the same, but I was pleasantly surprised. This album shares more with early Front Line Assembly than with recent KMFDM, showing that sometimes you have to mine the past to sound new. I’d say it’s the best thing either Tim Skold or Sasha Konietzko have done since Skold left KMFDM.
- The Eternal by Sonic Youth
I realized a couple of months ago that I’m the worst Sonic Youth fan ever, because I hadn’t bought a Sonic Youth album since Dirty. A twitter friend advised me that I’d like this one and he was totally right – this is screaming, kicking, rocker of an album. Definitely a return to the form they’d had in the SST days.
- Naked Acid by Valet
Hypnotic and trippy and all over the musical map. An intriguing and recommended listen.
- Super Ready / Fragmenté by The Young Gods
More than 25 years since they started, The Young Gods prove that they can still hang with the kids. Though it gets a bit uneven towards the end, it’s their best album since 1995’s Only Heaven.
R.I.P. Martin Streek
Posted by raj | Filed under General, Music
Former CFNY DJ Martin Streek chose to end his life yesterday. Marty had been a fixture on the radio and the local club scene for the past two decades. I listened to him on the radio, and went to “CFNY Nights” at clubs in the Greater Toronto Area for years and years – all through university and then some. When anyone mentions CFNY, I think of a select few names: Dani Elwell, Alan Cross, Maie Pautts, Brother Bill, and Martin Streek. All of those people had moved on, either through station restructuring or moving onto new opportunities. All of them save for Marty – he’d hung on ’til this past May, when a new restructuring finally showed him the door. He was the last tie I had to CFNY, the last person that kept me even wanting to listen. His death marks the end of an era – maybe just a personal era, but an era nonetheless. His death is a much more personal loss to me than all the “big” celebrity deaths of the last couple of weeks. Though I never knew him personally, I knew his radio persona, and I’ll miss him. Good night and godspeed, Martin – I hope you’ve found the peace you sought.
July’s eMusic
Posted by raj | Filed under Movies
July’s 90 Tracks:
- My Life in Rooms by Barzin
Featuring Tony Dekker from Great Lakes Swimmers, this is a moody, ethereal masterpiece. If Mazzy Star had had a male singer, they’d have recorded this album.
- Krush by DJ Krush
What you typically get from Japan’s DJ Krush is funky, loungy, (mostly) instrumental hip-hop. A few of the tracks on this album (his second, but the first release to ship in North America) have guest vocals, but it’s largely what you’d expect from DJ Krush. Krush is solid, but the high points (for me anyway) are the short tracks that splice the longer stuff together – think of them as martini lounge versions of Chemlab’s sutures.
- The Flowers of Hell by The Flowers of Hell
I saw The Flowers of Hell when they opened for My Bloody Valentine in Toronto. I’d missed their introduction, so what I saw was a huge band, doing orchestral arrangements in the vein of Spiritualized. I had to troll for concert reviews to find out who they were. Glad I found ‘em, ‘cuz the album’s amazing.
- Wavering Radiant by Isis
I first heard Isis and Pelican at the same time, so I always associate the two. Fairly or not, I think of Isis as Pelican with vocals – equally heavy, equally capable of (as AllMusic’s William Ruhlmann puts it) dark majesty, but with vocals. Another solid effort.
- The Warmth Inside You by Mark Van Hoen
Mark Van Hoen is probably best known for his ambient project Locust (not to be confused with speed metal band The Locust). This solo album from 2004 shares a lot in common with Locust, but isn’t quite as danceable, nor quite as space-filled, but it is more experimental and daring. I’m digging it. The sweet vocal samples do wonders for me.
- Autoimmune by Meat Beat Manifesto
Maybe the best thing Jack Dangers has done in a decade. Drawing inspiration from experimental, techno, dub, hip-hop, even industrial, this is one towering monster of an album. Highly recommended.
- Double-Crosser by Seabound
Dancey, catchy synthpop. If you like VNV Nation, early Apoptygma Berzerk, or Wolfsheim, this’ll be right up your alley.
- Spiders, Aether & Rain (The finest works of…) by Trance to the Sun
Trance to the Sun were one of my favourite darkwave bands of the 90s. I saw them play with Toronto’s long-defunct Thrive and Lycia more years ago than I care to recall. This compilation distills what made them awesome, and why I still miss them.
- The Natural Order of Things by Trespassers William
I don’t even listen to Trespassers William albums before downloading them anymore. Gorgeous melodies topped with Anna-Lynne Williams’ exquisite voice are a guaranteed sell for me. Having remains my favourite album from Trespassers William, but this all-too-short EP runs a close second.
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